Friday, January 30, 2009

Are YOU a good recession citizen?

There are good reactions and bad reactions to living in The Current Economic Climate. Depending on what extremes you care to go to (and listed here in no particular priority) I venture to classify the following as good and bad responses:

Good: Pointing out to your offspring that college is very expensive and that excellent careers exist in growing fields like Unemployment Check Printing, Developing Dollar Menus at McDonald's and the like. Better yet, certain of these careers require only a fifth grade education, so you can also save money on school supplies and clothes from Abercrombie & Fitch by forgoing middle and high school.

Bad: Hoarding your money if you still have a good job and could be supporting the rest of us, for example by buying items we've placed in our front yards for sale, or have dangled temptingly before you on eBay. Buy something, wouldya?

Good: Letting your cousin or your brother move into your basement when she or he loses that job Printing Unemployment Checks.

Good: Planning for a dreamy life that isn't so expensive. My little dream? Waiting tables in the Virgin Islands and living in a hut with a grass roof. Yum. (Okay, sure, it's just a dream and yes, we'll turn in your projects next week as promised, dear clients!)

Bad: Trying to shame other people because they have to make an income and thus attempt to charge you a living wage. ("How dare you charge me $4 for a latte? Haven't you read the news?") Skip the drama and make your own coffee if that's the way you feel.

Good: Buying an investment property or investing in stocks. But read Suze Orman's new book and advice columns first, since I don't know bupkas about this.

Bad: Assuming this slump will last forever. It won't, especially if you keep working, buying grass huts and humming a little song as you go through your day.

Please tell us the good and bad recession citizenship examples you're seeing. All our readers are in the mood to hear them because all anybody talks about anymore is... surprise!... The Great Recession! Cheers.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The mind at rest, kind of.

[caption id="attachment_363" align="alignnone" width="150" caption="...dream on."]...dream on.[/caption]

My sister Molly sent the family an email that read:

Last night I dreamed that I had saved my dream as the wrong file type and I couldn’t open it.

First, I must express my admiration of a dream so terse and still so meaningful. It makes my recurring dream of being lost on Commonwealth Avenue in Boston and knowing I need to walk the 90 miles home in the dark seem... well, rather stale.

More to the point, I think my sister just had the ultimate "I'm stressed and not exactly having the time of my life" dream that deserves the 2009 Great Recession Award.*

(*All credit for the term "Great Recession" is ceded to my older son, Zach.)

When I get stressed, I misplace credit cards, keys and other everyday necessities. Sometimes I misplace them in restaurants or public restrooms, which is unfortunate. My sister, apparently, mis-saves dream files.

When I get stressed, I can lose touch with my aspirations, my joys and my confidence. My sister can't even dream her damn dream.

On the other hand, don't you think the mind is a wonderful thing? What a creative way for her brain to say, "Hey kid, you could use some downtime and fun, because life is taking you away from yourself."

May she open her next dream file with ease.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

History, and yikes, and history.

History

Barack Obama's inauguration was so moving. Not just because he's broken one of our nation's most ferocious barriers, the mental block of race, but also because he is highly intelligent. And assertive. And he appears to have a plan. Whooo-eee!

And he's already working. He's stopped for review Bush's last "midnight regulations", which included allowing carrying concealed weapons in some national parks. He's moved to halt war crimes tribunals at Guantanamo, and is meeting with the national security team to determine direction in Iraq and Afghanistan. Obama is already back to work on the much-needed economic stimulus plan, too.

Yikes

Then why can't I stop my personal "yikes" factor from kicking in, even yesterday, on such a historic day?

Just a few reasons, small and large.

-The speech. It was grim. I was hoping our problems, particularly economic, wouldn't sound so... grim yesterday. Obama is clearly taking the current not-so-hot state of this nation seriously, because that was not a soaring speech, but a get-our-hands-dirty-we've-got-urgent-problems call to action.

-The stock market. The Dow fell four percent to celebrate the day. Super.

-People. Take Timothy Geithner, vying to be Treasury Secretary. Look, even I know to pay all my self-employment tax, and nobody would consider me to be their bookkeeper, let alone Treasury Secretary. Self-employment tax is a no-brainer. And, once you've spotted an error in your taxes, going back a few years to see if you've made that same error multiple times is not rocket science either.  With Obama, we raised our expectations for excellence in leaders. Let's not lower them for his appointees. Barack Obama can't do his job alone, and the people who surround him need to be really smart and really honest.

History

In four years, we'll remember this historic day. The "yikes" factors will, I hope, have faded. Hopefully our set of problems will have shifted somewhat. Your thoughts?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The cliche, the truism and the cult of utter boredom.

I don't want to develop a facial tick, or make wrinkled-nose faces while reading or listening to the news. So I'm going to start right now and make a list of TRIGGER PHRASES that are so cloyingly obvious or dull that they turn me into one of those pseudo-intellectual, attired-in-black, library-haunting literary types that YOU NEVER INVITE TO YOUR PARTIES.

Please help me with this list by adding your own "banish me" phrases so that we may save the world.

In the press... those terrible story wrap-ups on TV and radio news - the "duh!" factor:

"And so it seems that the conflict in Gaza is has not nearly reached its conclusion."

"Wall Street continues to confuse its investors after another down day."

"Corruption appears to be rampant among the rebel forces."

"It may be years before the courts determine who is to blame for this sordid mess."

"It is likely that we will not see a resolution to the tense political situation anytime soon."

Setting the stage for a news story or editorial:

"In today's difficult economy ..."

"Facing legal and ethical challenges from her opponents..."

"Today, more than ever, businesses face competitive pressures (blah blah blah)"

"This deal helps Wall Street, but what about Main Street?"  (Never, anyone, never, write this one again. And don't even consider rephrasing it.)

"At times like these..." (add annoying obvious phrase here - make sure it mentions the virtues of saving money, family, eating vegetables grown at home, AND faith in a Higher Power, preferably all in a single sentence)

"It remains to be seen whether the Congress will act."

"President Bush said today..."   (Ha ha! Guess what! This one will resolve itself in just 12 days!)

Product descriptions that really really inspire:

"We stand for quality."

"Quality is what sets us apart."

"Scientists have improved..."

"We have the solution tailored to your specific needs."

"You too can lose weight while enjoying your favorite foods!"

"You too can lose weight without difficult exercise or painful diets!"

Sigh.

I, for one, am off to find a doughnut. I hope you'll add your favorite in-the-media cliches to this list. Until next time, I'm signing off!