Impersonal? Are you kidding?

A glance through my last couple of weeks' email dispels - at least for me - the widely held concept that email has depersonalized communication, harshened our tone, and further isolated us from one another. Oh, sure, "you've got mail" on your screen is not the same as a perfumed note with dried violets inside (but how often did you ever get such a thing even in the "good old days" of snail mail?)

In my email, here are just a few happy examples received in just in the last few weeks:

From one high school friend to another, copied to a whole group of us scattered around the world, solace upon his losing a much-loved job (this was accompanied by an excellent essay on why and how he should consider self-employment):
To quote David Brown, "the rest of your life is the best of your life".

A coworker from 25 years ago connected with me through email and shared these thoughts on children - his range from adults to a toddler, so he certainly knows:
When you have kids you get to watch how nature and nurture interact to make a whole person with his or her own quirks, strengths, weaknesses and, of course, with everything that makes us all human together.

And from a member of my book group, a heartfelt sentiment about middle age:
I can't remember s**t these days.

I hear from someone in my family, or an old and new friend, nearly every day in part because no one needs a stamp to get in touch. And because email is easy and quick. That's fine. Their emails feel to me as personal and wonderful as any note or card in the mailbox, plus simpler for the sender to accomplish than a phone call when time is short or schedules are odd. Email me anytime.

Cataclysms, unexpected turns and renewal

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Were you looking for logic per se?

Here's guessing: 2009 will be a year during which more people than average experience life upheavals. With hundreds of thousands of layoffs, companies closing and money shrinking, it seems obvious that security elements of our lives are getting trampled. In a new book, The Tyranny of Dead Ideas by Matt Miller (jokingly characterized in one review as "Commie Pinko Socialism") Miller proposes that we can't expect what we've come to expect (health care from our employer, cradle-to-grave work from same said employer, etc.) and proposes new solutions. Government solutions, largely.

That's one look at cataclysm, unexpected turns and renewal. Some of the change I expect to see, in myself and others, will be from within. Frankly, I've had a window-view of big change as of late - I lost a husband - a good one! - to heart disease suddenly in 2006, and my two young sons have done what young sons often do - they went off to college and life, calling and emailing me remarkably often but nonetheless no longer daily eating my hotdog casserole (recipe not necessary) or savoring my daily advice on Girls, Grades and Grammar. That was big change in my book, and I'm slowly following it with big renewal - closer ties with old and new friends, new love, a new blog (this one! this one!) new speaking engagements, and an updated love affair with boats. Plus, less visibly, a new viewpoint. A few examples: I can now imagine being released from a job (although since I'm self employed I can always have a job, just maybe no pay). Or ending a relationship (personal or business) that makes one feel uninspired or less than worthy. Or perhaps exchanging a spacious home and an hour-long commute for an apartment in town from which one can walk, or bike, to the office. These days I can imagine not only the fear, but also the eventual liberation that a once-unwanted change could bring. Fear and uncertainty aside, I finally see that big change can mean new opportunity - the cliche "when one door closes one door opens" is sometimes true.