Oh, don't say that...

Words, conversational styles and mannerisms are important. There are people we look forward to talking with and people we don't look forward to talking with. And sometimes to differences are so minor, it's funny - e.g. do you cross the street to get away from me, or call just to hear my voice?

In a Difficult Economic Time Such As This, the importance of good interpersonal skills is even more pronounced than usual. Although, really, isn't it nearly always better to be a person others enjoy being around?

Here, from the recent past, are some special moments from my friends and associates with people we don't look forward to talking with:

One:


Prospect (asks the consultant a technical question)...

Consultant (answering question as simply and briefly as she suspects she really must in this case)

Prospect, no longer able to bear the sound of consultant's voice, or said consultant's response, or maybe suddenly needing very much to go to the restroom... impatiently says, "ANYWAY..."

Ouch.

Two:


We're finalizing a sale, making (maybe not brilliant) points, but points nonetheless.

Prospect: "Okay. Shut up. You've made the sale."

Us: "Oh. Thanks. Gosh."

Three:

Visitor using most sympathetic voice: "I remember when you were younger and had cute little kids at home. NOW what do you do with yourself? Do you ever have any fun?"

Host: "Uh..." (thinking furiously, quite sure he does have fun but suddenly unable to retrieve the Fun File) "Um, sure, I guess!"

Urk.

More don'ts:

-Reminding people they've gained weight or look REALLY tired. Or just looking at them with a strange facial expression that says something like, "I forgot about the way your hair always looks so... you know..."

-Telling people who've had a tragedy that - hey! - you just heard about SOMEONE ELSE who had a tragedy!

-Moping about the economy and making sotto voice helpful comments like, "is it REALLY AWFUL at your company, too?" Try a more subtle line of conversation.

We can talk about the DOs, too, but I bet we're not done with the DON'Ts. Are we??

By the way, you look great! Have you lost weight, or fallen in love?