I don't want to develop a facial tick, or make wrinkled-nose faces while reading or listening to the news. So I'm going to start right now and make a list of TRIGGER PHRASES that are so cloyingly obvious or dull that they turn me into one of those pseudo-intellectual, attired-in-black, library-haunting literary types that YOU NEVER INVITE TO YOUR PARTIES.
Please help me with this list by adding your own "banish me" phrases so that we may save the world.
In the press... those terrible story wrap-ups on TV and radio news - the "duh!" factor:
"And so it seems that the conflict in Gaza is has not nearly reached its conclusion."
"Wall Street continues to confuse its investors after another down day."
"Corruption appears to be rampant among the rebel forces."
"It may be years before the courts determine who is to blame for this sordid mess."
"It is likely that we will not see a resolution to the tense political situation anytime soon."
Setting the stage for a news story or editorial:
"In today's difficult economy ..."
"Facing legal and ethical challenges from her opponents..."
"Today, more than ever, businesses face competitive pressures (blah blah blah)"
"This deal helps Wall Street, but what about Main Street?" (Never, anyone, never, write this one again. And don't even consider rephrasing it.)
"At times like these..." (add annoying obvious phrase here - make sure it mentions the virtues of saving money, family, eating vegetables grown at home, AND faith in a Higher Power, preferably all in a single sentence)
"It remains to be seen whether the Congress will act."
"President Bush said today..." (Ha ha! Guess what! This one will resolve itself in just 12 days!)
Product descriptions that really really inspire:
"We stand for quality."
"Quality is what sets us apart."
"Scientists have improved..."
"We have the solution tailored to your specific needs."
"You too can lose weight while enjoying your favorite foods!"
"You too can lose weight without difficult exercise or painful diets!"
Sigh.
I, for one, am off to find a doughnut. I hope you'll add your favorite in-the-media cliches to this list. Until next time, I'm signing off!
I was actually just ranting about lazy movie reviews with a friend! It seem as though any movie that is pegged as "niche" or "targeted" (but that, like any good movie, has broad market appeal) has to be reviewed as follows (paraphrasing, of course):
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to be a woman living under a totalitarian regime to recognize the raw realism portrayed in 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days.
You don't have to be gay to feel the emotional resonance of Sean Penn's performance in Milk.
You don't have to drown on a sinking ship to appreciate the drama of Titanic. (OK I made that one up.)
When was the last time you saw an action movie reviewed this way? You don't have to be a womanizing international spy to appreciate the breathtaking excitement of Casino Royale.
And then there are the millions of companies that offer "a broad spectrum of industry-leading turnkey solutions." I would like 2009 to be the year that the word "solution" is only used to refer to chemistry!
For a long time now, the phrase that has given me the most anguish is "more importantly." The first time I heard it, I screamed. Grammatically incorrect!, I hollered at the tv. No one listened. In fact, they kept saying it. "More importantly" was everywhere. Tom Brokaw said it! I've begun to doubt myself: could "more importantly" be (gasp!) right? Is it true? Is there truth? Wait, wrong tangent. What would Mrs. Jackson, my eraser-throwing eighth grade English teacher, say? She'd make me diagram the sentence, that's what. And "more importantly" is trying to be an adverbial phrase, isn't it? And although one can orate importantly, I don't think that's what Tom Brokaw or any of those other assholes meant. Anyway, if anyone knows the truth of this sordid mess (thank you), please tell me.
ReplyDeleteThis is my very first blog entry. I think it's pertinent that it came just as I was desperately searching for a way to avoid work. And I'm not even going to try to weave a "more importantly" in there. You're welcome.
I think that your blog entry provides a strategic, turnkey solution for commenting on bad writing and clichés. In this global economy, it's important that we think outside the box and develop better Web 2.0 applications -- creating a win-win, Eco-friendly way of raising the bar on writing.
ReplyDeleteNow that it's 2009 [and in this difficult economy, in a globally interconnected world] I'd like to stop talking about the 21st century. It turns out that the 21st century has a lot of the features of the previous century. I'm not sure that it's really a full version upgrade at all, but more of a century 20.1.
ReplyDeleteYou do, on the other hand, have to be a womanizing international spy to appreciate the breathtaking excitement of Quantum of Solace. I think that's their target market, due to its badness.
ReplyDeleteAnother offender: staycation. Ugh! That word should be banished.
ReplyDeleteIs there a way to become a content writer for the site?
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteVery Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
PS: Sorry for my bad english, I'v just started to learn this language ;)
See you!
Your, Raiul Baztepo
Hi, turnkey websites.
ReplyDeleteThis is a president's blog, so people comment but don't contribute. I hope you'll stay with us, though!
Michelle van Schouwen
Hey, cool tips. I'll buy a bottle of beer to the person from that chat who told me to visit your site :)
ReplyDelete